September 24 and 25, 1666

I to the office till midnight drawing the letter we are to send with our accounts to the Lord Treasurer, and that being done to my mind, I home, and to bed.

I up, and with Sir W. Batten and Sir W. Pen to St.James’s, and there with Sir W. Coventry read and all approved of my letter, and then home, and after dinner [midday meal] Mr. Gibson and Hater dining with me, to the office, and there very late writing fair my letter.

I to St.James’s and up and down to look for Sir W. Coventry, and at last found him with Sir G. Carteret and the Lord Treasurer at White Hall, consulting how to make up my Lord Treasurer’s general account, as well as that of the Navy particularly. Here brought the letter but found that Sir G. Carteret had altered his account since he did give me the abstract of it: so all my letter must be writ again, to put in his last abstract.

For some weeks now I’ve been reading the diaries of Samuel Pepys aloud to Jane, usually after breakfast and last thing at night.  Now, if you have been listening to the dramatisation of the diaries on BBC radio you might be thinking that his life was a round of music-making, adultery, eating and drinking, avoiding the plague, burying his Parmesan in case it got burnt in the Great Fire, going to the theatre, quarrelling and making up with his wife, with a little bit of work on the side.  And indeed there was much of the above.

But what you don’t realise, until you actually read the diaries, is that his day to day life (the Sabbath day included) was a practically non-stop round of doing accounts, writing reports, then meeting (or trying to meet) his usually dunder-headed superiors, most of whom were in their elevated position because of their rank and/or their having supported the return of the Stuart monarchy from the start (or having adroitly switched allegiance from the Cromwellian side just in time).

Look at the extracts quoted above.  He had already consulted his superiors about what they would like included in the report on the state of the Navy for the Lord Treasurer (so that more money would be made available at a time when seamen were rioting because of not having been paid and suppliers of everything from food, timber, sails and anchors to gunpowder, rum and beer were also pleading for their bills to be honoured); with all that information collated he spent several hours (till midnight) putting this into decent English, then had his superiors read and approve it before he rewrote it more carefully and clearly (‘writing fair’), in a form that would be acceptable to the Lord Treasurer (and the King and Duke of York who might want to see it as well, assuming they had any time or energy left over from hunting, adultery and thinking up new fashions for themselves and their courtiers).

All that only to discover that Sir George Carteret (an ardent royalist, and Treasurer of the Navy from the accession of Charles II ) had changed his mind about what should be included in the report!

Luckily, that sort of thing didn’t happen too often. But what did happen was a vast amount of time wasted just trying to meet people or have them do what they had promised to do, or - indeed - get any sense out of them.  Here are a few of many, many examples.

4 January 1665

Lay long, and then up and to my Lord of Oxford’s, but his Lordship was in bed at past ten o’clock; and, Lord helpe us! so rude a dirty family I never saw in my life. He sent me out word my business was not done, but should against the afternoon.  [....] So to Sir W.Batten’s, but he was set out before I got thither

14 January

Up and to White Hall, where long waited in the Duke’s chamber for a committee intended for Tangier, but none met, and so I home and to the office.

21 January

Thence to a Tangier Committee at White Hall, where I saw nothing ordered by judgment, but great heat and passion and faction.

23 January

Up, and with Sir W. Batten and Sir W. Pen to White Hall; but there finding the Duke gone to his lodgings at St. James’s for all together, his Duchesse being ready to lie in, we to him, and there did our usual business.

29 January

After supper I to Sir W. Batten’s, where I found him, Sir W. Pen, Sir J. Robinson, Sir R. Forde and Captain Cocke. Here a great deal of sorry disordered talk about the Trinity House men, their being exempted from land service. But, Lord! to see how void of method and sense their discourse was, and in what heat, insomuch as Sir R. Ford fell into very high terms with Sir W. Batten, and then with Captain Cocke. So that I see that no man is wise at all times. Thence home to prayers and to bed.

8 February 1665

Up and by coach to my Lord Peterborough’s, where anon my Lord Ashly and Sir Thomas Ingram met, and Povy about his accounts, who is one of the most unhappy accountants that ever I knew in all my life, and one that if I were clear in reference to my bill of 117 pounds he should be hanged before I would ever have to do with him, and as he understands nothing of his business himself, so he hath not one about him that do. Here late till I was weary. having business elsewhere, and thence home by coach, and after dinner did several businesses and very late at my office, and so home to supper and to bed.

There’s nothing new, of course, in an energetic, intelligent man such as Pepys having to deal with stupid people. And this must be just as true in the 21st as in the 17th century.

But Lord! (as Pepys would say) how much easier his life would have been if he had had the following

1. a)a calculator - to cut down the number of hours he spent on his personal accounts and those of the Navy.
   

2. b)a computer - to change reports without having to start from scratch each time.
   

3. c)a printer - to produce fair copies of documents each time (and save the wear and tear on his eyes which, sadly, caused him to give up his diary with many working years ahead of him), and finally
   

4. d)a mobile phone - to avoid long trips to meet people who turn out not to be where they should be.