all kinds of writing

all kinds of writing
It’s in waltz time, which means that the beat goes ONE two three, ONE two three, and if learners of English gets the beat right, then they can’t fail to stress the words correctly.
Tina's a teacher, Priscilla's a preacher,
Donald's a doctor and Ted drives a truck.
Fred's a photographer, Joe's a geographer;
Barry's a barrister down on his luck.
Annie's an anarchist, Monty's a monarchist,
Prue is a proctor and Fred owns a farm,
Cy's a psychologist, Bill's a biologist,
Charley's a charmer who's run out of charm.
Col's a collector and Di's a director
Astrid's an astronaut, Bas runs a bank.
Con's a confessor and Prue's a professor.
Cher owned a ship until (sadly) it sank.
Mag's a magician and Phil's a physician,
Cosmo's a cosmonaut circling the moon.
Ruby's a realist, Ike's an idealist,
Cindy's a singer who can't hold a tune.
Ruth is a writer and Freddy's a fighter,
Phil's a philanthropist handing out cash.
Sid's a psychotic and Norm's a neurotic,
Danny's a driver who's scared he might crash.
Walter's a waiter and Tom's a translator,
Aaron's an airman who flies through the sky.
Tammy's a tailor and Willie's a whaler,
Charlie's a chairman who can't tell a lie.
Benny's a boozer and Lenny's a loser,
Sol's a solicitor, Chloe's a clown.
Eddie 's an editor, Chrissie's a creditor,
Reg is a wrestler whose job gets him down.
Sal's a selector and Den's a defector,
Mike is a miner all covered in grime.
Rita's a royalist, Lita's a loyalist,
Paula's a poet whose poems don't rhyme.
Here are some of the various powerful word stress rules exemplified in the poem.
a) Two-syllable verbs (most of which start with what used to be prepositions) tend to have a weak first syllable. If you add another syllable, to make the verb into a noun, the place of stress remains the same.
Verb: seLECT / coLLECT / surVIVE / conFESS / comPUTE
Noun: seLECTor / coLLECTor / surVIVor / conFESSor /comPUter
b) In fact there are a number of other suffixes which are ‘stress
neutral’, i.e. do no affect the place of main stress if added. e.g.
LOYal / LOyalist
ROYal / ROYalist
REAL / REAList
iDEAL / iDEAList
c) Three or four syllable words ending in <y> tend to have main
stress two syllables from the end. If these words have the
suffixes <er> or <ist> added, there is no change of stress. e.g.
phoTOgraphy / phoTOgrapher
geOgraphy / geOgrapher
psyCHOlogy / psyCHOlogist
geOlogy / geOlogist
phiLANthropy / phiLANthropist
ANarchy / ANarchist
MONarchy / MONarchist
d) Words ending in <ic> or <ical> tend to have the stress on the
preceding syllable.
psyCHOtic / neuROtic / MAgic / PHYsic /TOnic /
e) And if an <ic> word has the <ion> or <ian> suffix added, there
is a change of stress, since these latter suffixes are not ‘stress
neutral’ but ‘stress imposing’.
MAgic / maGIcian
PHysic / phySIcian
theoREtic / theoreTIcian
f) Compound nouns have front stress, whether they are composed of
two ‘free’ morphemes, e.g.
air + man = AIRman
chair + man = CHAIRman
or two ‘elements’ from Latin or Greek, e.g.
PHOto + graph = PHOtograph
MIcro + scope = MICROscope
ASTro + naut = ASTronaut
COSmo + naut = COSmonaut.
Note that there is a hierarchy of these powerful rules, which explains apparent chaos in our word stress system. For example.
PHOtograph = rule (f)
phoTOgraphy = rule (c)
photoGRAphic = rule (e)
And if these rules are difficult to internalise, then all the more reason for students of English to absorb them painlessly, through poetry.
“Who’s Who”
Tuesday, 1 May 2012