Baedeker guides have been appearing since Karl Baedeker founded the company in 1827, so my 1909 guide to Northern Italy is something of a newcomer. 

For someone planning to make a modern version of the Grand Tour this edition would still be pretty useful, since most of what was considered worth seeing 100 years ago still merits a visit.  The only updating that is seriously needed is to be found in the introduction, particularly the section called Intercourse with Italians.

Drivers, gondoliers, porters and their congeners are all more import-unate than in northern countries, and noisily besiege the traveler who approaches their stations.

Having chosen a carriage or a boat he should name his destination (e.g. al Duomo, all’ Isola Bella etc quanto volete?) and ask for the tariff (la tariffa). The fewest words are best, and signs are even better understood, while tact and good temper go a long way.

With a slight knowledge of the language, and by dint of patience, the traveler will manage easily enough in N. and Central Italy; but he will find the Neapolitans more insolent and rapacious, and more difficult to deal with. In this case above all let him beware of losing his temper […] he will generally find that the Neapolitans’ bark is worse than their bite. After ‘trying it on’ with huge bluster, they will often meekly and even smilingly ‘climb down’.

Our third companion, in addition to Smollet’s ‘Travels’ and the Baedeker, was the ‘Teach Yourself Italian Phrase Book’, which I bought on my first visit to Italy in 1954, when it had just come out.

Much of it is deliciously old-fashioned; and I put together the following dialogue between two old buffers, using nothing but phrases from the actual book, though not necessarily (as Eric Morecambe said to Andre Previn) in the correct order.

Good morning.

How do you do.

Have you done your national service?

I served in the navy.

Were you a submarine commander?

No, I was a lieutenant in a cruiser. The ship was sunk but the crew were saved.

I was a parachutist. We took the fortress by storm. We established a bridgehead and the army was annihilated.

How interesting ....... I am tired of large cosmopolitan hotels.

Me too. Let us go on the lagoon this evening and hear songs from the rafts.

I cannot stand the noise of the propellors, and my wife has been sea-sick for some days. She was an officer in the Waaf and a heavy meal does not agree with her.

We ARE having a rough passage. The ship is rolling and pitching.

The sea is very rough and it is getting foggy. I should like another blanket or a quilt.

I’m sweating. I cannot stand the heat. Where are my galoshes and umbrella? I’m wet through!

I shall have to give you a thorough examination, but I cannot grant you any credit. You will have to put up with pot luck. What would you like for breakfast?

May I have a plate of porridge?

I am sorry, but I do not know what porridge is. There isn’t any in Italy.

Then a boiled or fried egg with bacon and marmalade, if possible.

I am thirsty.

I am hungry.

I am starving.

I am a hearty eater.

Will you do me a favour? I don’t wish to be disturbed. Please don’t take it amiss.

I did not want to hurt your feelings. May I express my regrets; please put it down to my ignorance.

Pardon? Could you repeat that? You have a very bad pronunciation. I’m afraid you must have dentures.

You are very kind. But I’m sorry I cannot stay any longer. I must not miss my train.

Many thanks for your hospitality.

Next time you must stay with us.

Pray accept my sincere thanks.

We must keep in touch.

Pleasant journey.

Good luck.

Keep well.

Don’t forget us.

My sincere condolences.

Next time I come to Italy, I will come alone.